do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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