areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
