A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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