I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
