Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
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