David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
