I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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