Just cropdusted the office
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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