Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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