The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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