anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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