she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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