It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
