I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
