Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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