I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
