If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
