So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
