Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
