Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
