she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
