i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
