I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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