never play flip cup with pint glasses
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A bitchslap is in order.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
