just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
