is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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