Where did you get a picture of my penis
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just high enough for therapy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize