I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
