I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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