So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
