You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
