do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
no you cant smoke seaweed
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
