Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
