It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
