I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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