Midget sex pt 2 tonight
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
