we're blogging at a bar
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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