His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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