The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
