If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize