I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
