i already hear my dad disowning me
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
