After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
