I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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