Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
