let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
