what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
