My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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