Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
