I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
