yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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