it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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